This it the best shit I have ever read in my life. Seriously, classic literature doesn’t even compare to this woman. I think I might have peed on my computer chair a little bit.

The Best Scooter Ever

I have nothing more to say about this. Nothing I could say could even compare so just go read it.

September 23, 2008 was a day to be remembered. It’s the day I finally left my abusive ex husband and embarked on the journey of finally discovering myself, standing on my own two feet and being the well-adjusted young lady y’all know me as today.

Okay, so a lot has gone wrong in the last year. Most of it stems from lies, others feeling the need to continue to hold some control over my life and happiness and lack of finances to escape the clutches of the absolute bullshit. But if I’m really being honest with myself, I’d have to say that I wouldn’t change September 23, 2008 if I even had the chance. No, I was right to walk out on my ex husband. It was good for me in so many ways.

Sure, I’m…. I don’t want to say depressed although that’s the most accurate description I can give for what I am feeling right now since Hailey has been gone. That said, I otherwise couldn’t be happier. Look at all I have – what I have achieved. I do what I want and when I want to now. If I want to get in the car and go, I can. No one is stopping me. I’m allowed to have friends. I’m constantly surrounded by friends and family. I can go to the grocery store. I make my own money that I have complete access to. No one is forcing me to sign over checks to them. No one is sucking the life out of me.

I read the first blog I wrote last year after leaving my ex husband. I’m still shocked at how insanely happy I was.. how relieved and just calm. I still remember that first night. I borrowed Charlie’s computer and I sat down to write. It poured out of me. I was and still am genuinely happy. Okay so Hailey was a real pain in the butt that first night but after that one night, she was just as fantastic. Good God that child was so happy – I’d never seen her happier.

Now if I can just get through the rest of this year in one piece, I know I’m really onto something. We have so many great plans and so much opportunity laying before us and we can’t quite reach it because our baby isn’t here. If she were only home where she belongs, we could move out of this tiny town. Charlie could take one of the much better jobs he’s qualified to do in a bigger city. We’d have a lot more money and a lot more opportunity. Hailey could have the best in anything and everything. It really is something I am able to and willing to provide.

It drives me crazy because it’s been a whole year that I have been on my own now. Three months into it, I was doing so great. I’d really gotten somewhere before I got slapped with all of this. I hardly got the chance to stand on my own two feet and now that’s counting against me. Yes, I know life isn’t fair… but can’t it be for just a little while?

Still don’t regret it. Walking out was the right choice. I know it was. We all know it was. Charlie’s family saw such a huge change in me in that first month – in me AND in Hailey.

And now I’m looking through these pictures of Hailey from the first month here and I’m so blown away. We had so much fun. We were so incredibly happy. I can’t believe these pictures are a year old now. In a way, it feels like it were just yesterday…

When we took that first trip to the park and Hailey had such a fantastic time…

Or that time Charlie wrapped her up in all of her blankets like a cocoon and she squealed with laughter…

And that very first week in Cordova that her and I spent mostly on the couch in our then living room watching Noggin together…

And let’s face it… I’d NEVER looked better…

I wonder what September 23, 2010 will be like and what I’ll have to say then. Here is to another year that will hopefully soon be filled with happy memories once again.

I’m so incredibly proud of Cinders. When I imagined what it would be like to introduce another cat into this house, I really thought that we would have some problems at first. I figured Flora would be jealous and eager to be babied and that Cinders would be flat out pissed off. I really thought Cinders would get very territorial and he really hasn’t.

I never would have guessed that I’d be taking pictures like this one…

…or this one…

…not anytime soon at least.

But the truth is, Cinders has been incredibly patient with Patches. They have played together and Cinders lets her know when it’s time to calm down. He sternly but lovingly puts her in her place. He’s laid with her and groomed her. She follows him around the house and they gang up on Flora together.

I’m really surprised and it’s been really fun to watch!

*Huge Yawn*

It’s 6:30 in the morning. Ya know, I’m usually very iffy of people who compare their pets to that of children because it’s usually people who have never had kids at all who say crap like what I’m about to say… but…

Having a kitten is seriously like having an infant.

They are up and want to play at all the wrong times – usually when you are in an awesome sleep and dreaming about Ryan Reynolds [or whatever actor you're into]. You have to get up several times during the night [course in Patches' case it's because she's waking me by sitting on my head, nipping at my hands or toes or she's walking all over me - not because she's hungry].

And did I seriously just get all excited because I caught her pooping in the litter box!?

Yeah, I did. I praised her like she was a toddler pooping in the toilet for the first time. I even gave her a little treat I got so excited. Oh boy.

It’ll sound totally strange, but I really needed this. I was sitting on the couch earlier watching the movie Waiting [hence the Ryan Reynolds dream *swoon*] and Patches was curled up in my arms like a baby and I stroked her side until she literally fell asleep in my arms. It reminded me of when Hailey was a baby – all those nights I slept sitting up on the couch because she wouldn’t sleep if I put her down that first week home. So of course when I stood up because I was going to bring her to bed, she woke up which all of you moms know how typical that is [and dare I say frustrating].

I know, I know. Some people are reading this and are totally disgusted that I am comparing this cat to my child right now. But seriously, if you were experiencing this, you’d understand. It’s not the same depth of love and affection for me, but I think it really is for Patches. She thinks I’m her mommy and in a lot of ways, that’s what I am.

I’ve spent the last 8 months completely lost because I didn’t have Hailey to nurture. I had nothing left to do with my time. Being a mommy was always my first priority and once I didn’t have it, I lost myself completely. So all of this is like a really odd refresher course.

I can’t believe I’m going to say this. People have said it before and I really hated those people for saying such a thing. But if you are thinking about having children, start with a baby animal first. Sure… it’s totally not the same thing and nothing could ever prepare anyone for having children, but a baby animal sure does compare.

What a fun day it’s been. The past twelve hours have been hilarious. I can say without a doubt that Patches fits in well around here. She’s already holding her own, making herself comfortable and getting along very well with Cinders and even Flora.

It took about the first 9 or 10 hours for Patches to allow Flora near her but now Flora is a-okay with her. I think it’s because Flora will lay down with her and lick her and snuggle. Patches still hisses at Flora if she is too rough or hyper with her, but otherwise, I’m seeing a lot of this…

Isn’t that just the cutest damn thing!?

I love Patches’ personality thus far. She’s very cuddly. In fact, I tweeted earlier about her trying to sleep on my face. It was really funny and sweeter than it sounds. She’s desperate to be close to me. It’s so fun having a pet in the baby stage. There is still so much for them to explore and learn.

Cinders knows not to jump on counters or furniture like my desk. But Patches used my computer chair to climb, digging her claws into it and pulling herself up until she got in my lap – and then my desk. It’s something she’ll have to be taught not to do, but it sure was cute seeing a little kitty walk across my keyboard happily.

Right now, Patches is laying on my left foot, nuzzling against it. No complaints here… my foot is cold. haha

Yesterday, I checked out a blog called The Bloggess [which I totally fell in love with and added to my reading list]. But while I was there, I come across something else. It’s called YouData and so far as I understand it, you are given a bunch of advertisements and just by viewing the banners, you can make some [literal] pocket change. Then if you actually click on the banners [seriously, that's all you have to do] you earn a little more.

Basically, you are selling your attention to companies. And who doesn’t think they should be paid for something like their attention!?

So far so good. In fact, they paid me $1.06 today via PayPal. I totally wasn’t expecting it either. I think this might be something I’ll stick with for a while. It’s not  a lot of money, but hey… every little bit helps right?

If you are interested in checking it out, please join by clicking here.

The heart of my home is an easy place to locate. It’s the one place everyone in my house can come together – laugh, talk, learn, enjoy… cook! The heart of my home is definitely the kitchen.

The kitchen is always the place to relieve stress. It doesn’t matter what’s on TV. It doesn’t even matter anymore what’s going on in the world. It’s just you, some pots and pans and good ole cooking. You can lose yourself in ingredients and work out your stress as you stir them away with a spoon.

And the best part? – Sharing that sacred space with family. It doesn’t matter what it is you’re cooking – there is always a job for everyone and nothing tastes better than a meal that everyone puts a little love into.

In light of this post, I want to share my favorite recipe with you [courtesy of Rachael Ray;s cookbook 30-Minute Meals 2]. It’s perfect for everyone in the family to enjoy no matter the season. It’s absolutely delicious and there are lots of little jobs that your kids can do as well.

Pasta with Citrus Cream Sauce

[Makes 4 Servings]

Ingredients

• 2 cups Heavy Cream
• 4 tablespoons Cognoc or Dry Sherry
• The zest of 2 lemons
• The zest of 2 Naval Oranges
• 1 teaspoon coarse salt
• 4 tablespoons fresh mint, chopped (about 6 sprigs)
• 20-25 leaves of fresh basil, shredded or torn
• 1 pound linguini
• 1 cup grated Parmigiano Reggiano Cheese

Directions

In a skillet over medium-low heat, warm cream. Add cognac or dry sherry, lemon and orange zest and the salt. Simmer 7-10 minutes. Add mint and basil. Toss hot, drained pasta with the sauce and grated cheese. Transfer to serving dish or dinner plates.

This is seriously my favorite dish. Your kids can have fun shredding the basil and helping to measure out some of the ingredients. Not only is this a kid friendly meal, it’s also got that adult flare to it that I love. It’s very refreshing and makes an excellent lunch.

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My kitchen is so special to me. I love sharing different foods with my husband, daughter and the rest of my family. Who doesn’t enjoy a good meal? That’s what makes my kitchen the heart of my home.

Which room is the heart of your home? Leave me a comment [and I just might win a washer and dryer from Samsung Home Appliances!]

What a crazy morning it’s been. Wow is it only 11am!?

Patches is inside and fitting in all too well. She’s positively in love with Cinders and has been chasing him around the house since she came in about 2 hours ago. I’m talking all out sprinting around the house, batting at one another, jumping on and off of furniture and meowing like crazy. They are having a rip-roaring good time.

Poor Flora. She really is the red-headed step child of the family. Patches wants nothing to do with her just yet – even hissed at Flora a little. I think Flora is just too hyper for anyone’s liking. And yet, she’s so desperate to play with Patches. She wants to have fun too sooooo bad. Trying to give Flora some extra lovings today.

See how sad Flora looks? She’s watching the kitties play and she wants to have fun too!

Patches is absolutely in love with this little cat hotel we have. Cinders hasn’t used it in ages and he’s a bit too big for it now [although Cinders did get jealous and tried to fit his fat ass in it earlier to spite Patches haha].

Both Cinders and Flora have gotten in trouble already today. I set out food for Patches because she didn’t eat well last night due to the rain. Cinders tried to eat it. I chased him off and went after Patches to bring her back to the bowl and by the time I returned no more than 30 seconds later, Flora had scarfed up 90% of the cat food in the bowl. Oh boy was I pissed. It’s like 54 cents per can for that stuff and Flora has her own food.

I’ve shown Patches the litter box a few times and Charlie took her once as well. She just looks around and looks at you like “Why am I in this box and why does it smell like pee?” and she jumps out. Hopefully since she’s bonding so well with Cinders, he’ll show her how to use it.

I have to go out today and leave the animals all home to themselves for a little while so I can drop off my prescription stuff. This should be interesting. I hope the 3 Pupcateers behave while I’m gone!

Men are so funny sometimes.

Remember the other day? I said that that Patches could come inside on Saturday. The vet said to give her “a few days” so that the medicine to get to work on her fleas and de-worming so it would be safe to expose her to the animals. That was the afternoon of the 15th (Tuesday). So Charlie told me that we would bring Patches in on Saturday – much to my dismay, but I understood.

Yesterday, Charlie suddenly started talking about bringing her in Friday night. And this quickly progressed to “When you bring her in Friday afternoon…” and to “Let’s bring her in Friday morning.” So that’s what I’m doing… bringing Patches in tomorrow morning. *grin*

Cinders is not pleased. He knows something is up. He saw Patches get brought into the house inside of the pet carrier on Tuesday. He sees me outside feeding her every night and he’s come nose to nose with her on a few occasions when I’m trying to get back inside and Patches is trying desperately to follow. Cinders is too damn smart. In fact, he’s under my desk right now, at my feet. He never does this. He’s suddenly been a total lap kitty the last few days – suddenly eager and desperate for my attention.

Flora is none the wiser. She knows Patches exists. She wants very much to observe her closer but otherwise, has taken no interest in the whole ordeal thus far. Tomorrow should prove interesting as I imagine both animals will want to express their dominance over Patches.

Charlie said that when he first brought Flora into the house, Cinders would run over and smack her a lot and hiss. It took a few weeks for him to accept Flora so I suspect we’ll have just as much if not more of that going on in this house for a while.

*Yawn* It’s time for me to head to bed. My heart is pounding. It’s been hurting since I ate dinner. I guess it was too much grease [meh my doctor totally said that was a no no]. Tomorrow will be a full and eventful day, I’m sure. Stay turned for pictures!

I was standing at the kitchen sink and scrubbing some dishes [bleh I hate dishes] when I picked my head up and looked out of the window to see hundreds of leaves falling from the big tree in my back yard… the one I got married under. I couldn’t help but feel a little sad.

Sure, it wasn’t my first choice to get married under that tree, but I love it just the same. I’ve made so many memories involving that tree since I moved here a year ago. There was the time Cinders climbed all the way up the tree and I almost had to call animal control to get him out of it. All those times Hailey and I ran around it and still do. All of the sticks Flora picks up from around that tree to run around the back yard with. And of course, being hand in hand with my family to say I do… forever.

I know it’s not like the tree is dieing – it’s just taking a break.

Taking a break? What an amazing concept. How easily that applies to my life right now.

I’ve said before that I sometimes feel like I’m forgetting how to be a mommy, but I really should be looking at it as if I’m just taking a break. The tree isn’t going to forget how to be a tree. Logically, it’s still serving it’s same purpose – it’s just taking a break. Next year it will be back – bigger, better and even more beautiful and wonderful than before.

So maybe I haven’t forgotten how to be a mommy after all. I still love my daughter just as much – if not more. I still want all the same things for her. I’m really just taking a break and when she’s back home, I can be an even better mommy to her than I have been in the past.

I’m not sure if I really intended this blog to go this direction. I’m not even sure if it makes any sense. It’s just where my brain took me today.

Happy Love Thursday!