Archive for the ‘blogging’ Category

Dinner time is supposed to be a relaxing meal shared with your family – or at least that’s what we strive for in this house despite the chaos of every day life. It helps that we have two cooks in the house as my husband and I both share a passion for it and are able to work side by side to get a meal prepared fast and easy. But not everyone has that option so what I am proposing are some 7 simple tips / tricks to help you make a meal not only quick and easy… but delicious as well!

Tip #1

Be organized. Sounds easy right? Well all moms know it’s not. You’ve got kids and all of their crazy schedules – basketball, soccer, tuba lessons, dance recitals. Who on earth has time to be organized about dinner!? Well now you do. Keep a note pad handy and jot down dinner ideas for the week in it a little bit each day. By the end of the week, you’ll have managed to plan out the meals for the rest of the week!

If you have a plan in mind, there will be no last minute “what on earth am I going to feed these kids!?” moments (I’m all for saving a little sanity where I can).

Tip #2

Stock up on cans of soup. Not only are they fairly cheap, but they can add a great depth of flavor to your cooking and cut your cooking time by half!

I like to buy creamy soups – Cream of Chicken / Mushroom / Celery / whatever else that they’ve got. It goes fantastic with chicken, beef or pork dishes. You can even use the soup as a base for gravy. It cheap. It’s quick. It’s absolutely delicious. Plus it can stretch a buck and if you buy the low sodium versions you can really pay attention to the amount of salt you’re putting in your body.

Tip #3

Assign jobs to your kids! One of the more stressful parts to making dinner is that you have kids running around the house getting into trouble while you’re trying to cook a meal. Get them involved. Let your daughter dig her hands into that meatloaf and mix the ingredients or allow your son measure out some ingredients for you. Sure, it might take a little longer but it’s fun and food tastes so much better with a little love in it!

Tip #4

Never underestimate the power of Rachael Ray’s 30 minute meals (or less in some cases!). Not only are they really that fast, but they are really good. I find most of her recipes are affordable and easy enough for people without much cooking skill to make. So check out the Food Network website and pick out some meals you would like to try.

Tip #5

Do all of your grocery shopping ahead of time. If you do the shopping once a week and buy everything you’ll need, you won’t have to stress out about picking up something for dinner. This means you have everything available at home and ready to go when it’s time to start dinner.

Tip #6

Wash all of your produce when you get home from grocery shopping and store it in proper containers. If you wash everything ahead of time, you won’t need to when it’s time to cook!

Tip #7

My favorite tip. Chop up onion, carrot, celery and green bell pepper in small dices. Mix them well in a bowl and transfer them to an air tight container of some kind (tupperware will do but if you have containers that air can be sucked out of, it’s even better). Store them in the freezer. They freeze well and when you need those ingredients to start a dish, you just take it out of the freezer and break off a piece.

Hope these tips are useful to my readers. We practice these in our own home and they work out great!

This blog is happily written in hopes of winning a French Door Refridgerator thanks to TwitterMoms.com and Samsung Appliances. For more information on how you too can enter, please check out this link.

The main focus of my blog surrounds my family. They [whoever "they" is] say to write about what you know… and what I know, is my family. But today I read a post by Mir Kamin [who's blog is fantastic and I really enjoy it] that really pulled me in and really made me sit back and question myself about the things I write in regards to my family.

Since I started this blog, my integrity has been repeatedly put under a legal microscope. Not everyone understands the internet. There are just some people who don’t see blogging as a normal thing despite millions of people [especially moms!] across the globe doing it. And the even bigger challenge is trying to convince other people that it’s perfectly normal to share your life, your family and most importantly – your children… with the world. And that is where this fantastic post by Mir comes in.

I will come out and lay this straight on the table. I believe that as a parent, I have the right to discuss my daughter and the happenings in her life. I believe that as her mother, I have every right to talk about her and what is going on in our lives. I believe that is my right until she comes of age where she is old enough to make choices on her own and ask me to stop. I don’t know what age I think that is. It’s really up to her. She could be 10, she could be 16 – who knows? But the point is that if she asks me to stop, I will. It’s really that simple.

I’m not alone in this. I could easily link hundreds of blogs written by moms where they discuss their children and their daily lives. I’ll use Mir as an example. She writes about her children and they are old enough to understand the concept of being written about. They are of school age and like most ALL children, they get into trouble, they bicker, they talk back. Suffice it to say – they are your typical children with plenty of drama, boo boos and time outs to go around. I completely agree with an incredible statement she made in her own blog that I can directly relate to.

Sometimes one of my kids is rotten and I come here and write about it and say, “Good lord, MY KID IS ROTTEN,” and I trust that 99.9% of you understand that while I am human and frustrated, I am also the person you’d need to go through to so much as look cross-eyed at said child, and chances are excellent that I would claw your eyes out before you got the chance.

Sometimes one of my kids is struggling and I come here and write about it and say, “This is hard and I am worried,” and I trust that 99.9% of you get what it’s like and understand that I’ve done my best to balance my need (for processing, for community, whatever) against my child’s needs (for privacy, for example).

Other times it’s too hard and too overwhelming and I say nothing, for a long time. And I begin to realize that I’m not just saying nothing HERE, I’m saying nothing to my friends. Nothing to my family. Nothing to anyone. I’m retreating and it starts to become a problem, not only because I’m not necessarily getting the support I need, but because in my desire to shield my child, I’ve actually done a disservice by not allowing others to understand what’s going on.

What an extraordinary post. I’m one of those 99.9%. I really do understand. That’s the whole reason I started blogging publicly! I’m not here to smear my child’s name. I’m not even here to smear the names of others. I’m just here to say something. I want to get things out in the open. I want to discover things about myself through my blogging that I’d otherwise never known. I know it works because I’ve been doing it for the past 6 years with a close-knit group of friends. How phenomenal is it that I have the chance to reach out and interact with other women across the world? – Many of which are going through the same thing I am.

But I will say this: There are some parents out there who lack any sense of discretion. There is a fine line between what is and isn’t acceptable – especially when your children are older and require a greater sense of privacy. That is where the story about Julie Myerson comes into my post. Long story short – she wrote a newspaper column about her children for years and later a book in which she intimately discussed the details of her son’s struggle with drugs. She lied to his face about being the author of the column and then smeared his name in her book. Big no no! I always want to be honest with Hailey and say “Yes, I wrote that about you.” If she grows up and is upset by something I wrote, then hey… we can talk about it. But I truly believe that despite the fact that I don’t always have the best judgment, I do exercise discretion when it comes to the lives of my family members – particularly my daughter.

Mir nails it again and says it best…

I happen to think it’s okay to say less-than-glowing things about your children, sometimes, provided that 1) it’s the exception rather than the rule, and 2) it would be impossible to read your words without it being overwhelmingly obvious that you are wildly in love with your subject.

The argument can be made that children play a part in our personal stories, and we can share them in that context and occasionally find them challenging or irritating and say so and it won’t damage them that we shared that. It can be done. I know it can because hundreds (thousands?) of writers have successfully walked this line ahead of me and Myerson and everyone else. Can it be tricky? Absolutely. But can it be done? Yes, I believe it can.

When the love is uncertain — or when trust is absent, as I think the story of Myerson lying to her children about her column demonstrates — this balancing act falls down. Venting about a child in that circumstance offers only embarrassment and hurt, without the cushion of adoration to balance out the less savory bits.

I hope that in my writing it is clear just how absolutely infatuated I am with my daughter. I hope it’s well understood that just because I write about certain unpleasantness in my life or make complaints, it doesn’t mean I hate the world or am completely miserable. If I were, then every blog post would be a complete and depressing mess. I do hope that my writing doesn’t always come across as gloomy.

I love my daughter and I want nothing but the absolute best for her. But there is also the call for doing what is best for me – which directly affects what is best for her. There is a time and a place for everything and I make sure I use the utmost discretion and determine when and where to discuss my child. I think it’s something most blogging parents strive for.

I received an e-mail from my lawyer reminding me to make sure I monitor the content of my blogs because apparently, it’s been confirmed that Hailey’s grandparents and apparently my ex husband are reading this. My question is…

Don’t you have anything better to do with your time? Like, I dunno… care for Hailey?

I think for the most part, I have been very adult about my postings here and careful of what I say. There is a very fine line between censorship and me just being careful about how I word things or what I discuss. I think I have walked that line with grace. I always think before I post stuff here and on several occasions, I have mentioned that I couldn’t discuss a subject further because I had a suspicion that they were reading this.

I have no doubt that my blogs will be printed out. I have no doubt that they will be brought up in court. I also have no doubt that none of it will matter. In my heart, I know I have already won and nothing I have bitched about in this blog thus far is going to make a difference. When I first starting writing this blog, I changed all of the names and I left out tons of stuff. [Remember my post about Writing with No More Censorship?] I stopped doing that. I started over. If I’m going to write, then it’s going to be real.

If Hailey’s grandparents and my ex husband can’t handle that, they they need a new hobby that doesn’t involve snooping on me. I have a lot of very good reasons for writing. Writing out one’s thoughts is normal, expressive, therapeutic and I enjoy it. Maybe they are the ones who should go to therapy if they can’t fight the urge to stay out of my business. Lord knows my ex husband needs it anyways.

Switching gears… Last week I made a post on Twitter asking that everyone who was following me that lived in SC to tell me because someone from Mount Pleasant had come to my page through my Twitter account – which is set to private. No one responded [except for Chris lol]. Someone who reads my Twitter isn’t who they claim to be. Someone doesn’t belong and I will weed them out.

I don’t spy on you. Quite frankly, I don’t really even care what you are doing. I care about what’s happening with Hailey and nothing more. Every two weeks, I grin and bear it. We go through our awkward [un]pleasantries when we know deep down, none of us really want to hang out and chit chat. But we do it anyways because it’s for Hailey and it’s important that we get along or at least pretend to for her sake and well being. But for the 13 days, 23 hours and 45 minutes between visitations, I don’t think about y’all. I think about Hailey. I wonder what Hailey is doing. That is my focus.

And as far as my ex husband goes, I never think of him at all. He’s a sad excuse for a human being. He isn’t even worth the fact that I’m mentioning him in this blog [although there is another topic that I will write after this that involves him]. I don’t care what he’s doing. So long as he is paying the child support owed to you, then he and I have no business [and even if he weren't, that's not really my problem.. but I would make it my problem for Hailey's sake].

Y’all were supposedly worried that there was something wrong with me. You were supposedly worried that I wasn’t okay – or something of that nature. I’m fine. I have papers that say so. But if you are really as concerned for me [rather than about me] as you claim, then just leave me be. Let me have my space. Don’t snoop or pry. It’s rude and not fair to me.

I’m in such a whirlwind right now. There are SO many communities online for people who blog. I had no idea. If only I’d known, I would have gotten involved with them years ago! I’m finding all of these great places but quickly finding that if I want to give all of this a proper shot, I would have to stop working elsewhere because I simply cannot keep up with all of these communities, forums and what-have-yous otherwise. And let’s face it… I can’t afford to quit actually working. haha

There are just so many fantastic discussions to get involved with. Best part is that they are such intellectual conversations about topics that matter – even the ones that are geared towards parenting. [I've had a lot of experience with parenting groups in the past and come to find that they are hardly geared towards parenting.]

Here’s where you can find me so far!

• Twitter Moms
• TheBlogFrog
• 20-Something Bloggers
• Mom Bloggers Club

I have been browsing a lot of blogs since I started this one and I have to say – I’m intimidated. I’ve been blogging for years and now I wonder if I should have gone public much sooner. I have this whole goal in mind – write the public blog, get readers, write a book and hopefully publish it and earn good money off of it. I thought it was a good, solid idea in which I could make happen. I suppose I still can, but I didn’t realize the competition was so… steep.

I keep looking at my page asking myself…

• Does my page look too gloomy?
• Am I not sprucing up my posts enough?
• Should I take a more whimsical approach?
• Is my writing even any good?

Let’s face it… there are thousands of blogs and apparently a good portion of them are like mine in that they are the literal online diary of someone’s life and family. So maybe they aren’t as open as mine – but they feature great writing, fun pictures and the sparkle required to keep people interested. Am I up for the challenge so I can stand amongst those blogs?

What makes me think I’m so special anyways? I have no idea. I thought this was all a rather unique idea. I thought I’d found exactly what I wanted to do with my life. Finally, I could encompass so many of my passions and the majority of my talents into one thing. It’s not doubt I am talented (not trying to rub my ego here) but the question remains – am I anywhere near as talented as the other ladies who have apparently been doing this for years? You don’t need to answer that and I don’t need anyone to make me feel better. I’m really just thinking out loud.

I keep stretching myself out and seeking new things that I find thrill me. This is one of them. I really want to do this and I want it to be something I do for many years to come. I mean, I’ve already been blogging for years anyways – I just want to make it something that other people can enjoy too and let’s be honest here – something that brings in at least a little money each month.

From all of the blogs I’ve come across this week, I’ve found some great networking sites for blog writers – some even specifically for women or even just moms. But going to these places just makes me feel more intimidated. I went to BlogHer and I was absolutely blown out of the water. There are women blogging and participating in subjects that I know nothing about in my wildest dreams! How am I supposed to compete with that? These women are fantastic writers and highly intellectual. Sure, I’m smart and I’d like to think my writing is half-way decent but when push comes to shove, I know they have the upper hand.

I’m happy knowing that at least a few people are following along. I guess that’s good considering I started writing this blog on August 1st. But I think I’ll feel better when I am finally blogging with the big dogs and getting 100, 50 20.. or hell I’ll even settle for 10 comments on an entry! haha I’m hoping this is just something that like everything else in this world, takes a lot of time and patience to build.

So my friend Keri of Married2Military posted a blog in response to my post My Dirty Laundry. I was reading her comments on the blog when I came across a message left that said

Nobody’s life is perfect, and these blogs are just a glimpse at our lives…the moments we choose to record!

What an amazing statement. It really struck me. Of course, I blog about pretty much anything. I mean, I blogged about shrimp alfredo for crying out loud. But I know at some point in my six years of blogging I have left out a detail or two. There has certainly been some things I have been ashamed to post – either because they were really that bad or because I didn’t want to remember them.

This goes against everything I said in my post My Dirty Laundry or Starting Over With No More Censorship but I guess there really is a line you don’t cross when posting online.

I didn’t write about certain details pertaining to the abuse from my previous marriage. I was too embarrassed and quite frankly, I think I remember it well enough that I didn’t need to ever write it down. And if I’m being honest, there are some things I just didn’t ever talk about. It doesn’t make me any less real – it just means it was too much for me. Maybe the point of blogs for some people is to only capture the good – so they can go back and read about all of the good parts of their life when things get rough. I suppose I can see the point in that.

Doesn’t mean I’m going to do that – because sadly, I wouldn’t have a blog! haha

I guess I always felt that I should record everything I could stand to – even if it isn’t so positive. I want to look back and see where I came from and the moments – good and bad – that made me who I am.

All I can say about this is WOW! I was blog hopping earlier and came across a little banner that caught my eye. 20-Something Bloggers… hmm this should be interesting! I clicked it and I immediately joined. Unfortunately (well, I guess fortunately too) they screen all applicants to the site to check up on your age. You absolutely have to be 20-something to join. It took about 24 hours for me to be approved. Wait was well worth it.

So I finally have full access to this site and I realize it’s like MySpace – strictly for bloggers aged 20-29. The whole site is about blogging! It has groups, the ability to message, add friends, leave comments and of course… blog! I won’t be blogging there because that would sort of the defeat the purpose of blogging here. But.. they do have an RSS feed and you can link in your blog that way!

Like MySpace, you get your own Profile Page where you can write about yourself, display certain information and even add a picture of yourself.

Can you tell I’m excited? Wait. It get’s even better!

So I keep looking at this portion of 20-Something Bloggers and I see this “Lisa created this social network on Ning.” So I’m thinking – what the heck is Ning? I go to this site and oh holy mother of Jesus… it’s a site where you can create your OWN social network site! Oh man I’m all bubbly. So I start looking around and there are all of these social networks full of people. This has literally opened a new door for me online!

Anyways – definitely check out 20-Something Bloggers if you have the chance (and are 20-something of course). It looks promising and like fun!

I talked with my husband about some of the blogs I have been reading. They all seem so… perfect. Perhaps too perfect? All of these ladies have 3 and 4 children whom they dress up nicely and line up for the camera. They have all these pretty pictures of their gorgeous kids and a lot of their “big problems” don’t sound all that bad to me.

It honestly makes me feel bad – like I’m a terrible mom or something when deep down, I know that isn’t true. I know the situation we’re in looks so horrible, but I also know the truth.

Do people perchance, write only the good stuff to make themselves seem better off than they are? I’ve always been a very open person – perhaps too open for that matter. If I’m going to write about myself and my life, then I want every angle presented – even the not no pretty ones. I’ve been told I’m airing my dirty laundry that no one wants to see. But you have to put the dirty clothes in the washing machine before you can ever hope to get that clean smell and warm, fuzzy feeling of clothes fresh from the dryer. That’s where my blog comes in. Consider it my public laundromat. Hopefully we all get something out of it – maybe even some free detergent.

I don’t want sympathy. I want understanding – and I think we all want that. I’d like to think that people are more accepting and able to identify with one another more than we give them credit for. Maybe if more people wrote about the ugly truths of their lives, the world would be a better place. If you’re reading this, I want you to walk away with information. Hopefully it’s something you can learn from – maybe not today or tomorrow… but sometime in your life it finds its way back to you and helps you with an important life decision.

Charlie agrees with me in the belief that people write about the good stuff and rarely the bad. I made myself a little self-conscious and wondered if perhaps I was being too gloomy. But this is life and it’s real. This blog is really about who I am and what I am facing. It nothing else, it’s a reminder to myself of the places I have been and the mountains I have climbed. That is what sets me apart from the blogs full of smiling faces and Suzy home-makers.

Once again, I remind myself that I won’t settle. I won’t censor myself or feel like I am putting too much of myself into my writing.

So I just joined up with BlogFrog. It’s some sort of social networking ring for bloggers. Looked promising and in a way, it made me feel better to know that there are other moms out there who write about themselves and the lives of their families. Then again, it also made me feel like crap.

Look at them all with their cutesy pictures of their children. They all sound so happy and really have it together. Or perhaps that’s just my perception since I’m in such a negative place right now. Who is going to want to read about some stay at home mom who doesn’t have custody of her child due to some stupid custody battle that doesn’t even make sense? I must sound so pathetic.

This is rather discouraging for me. My point isn’t to necessarily attract readers, but then again it is. I mean, if I didn’t hope someone read this then I would just write it all privately on my hard drive where no one would ever see it. The point is to get people involved. They should read and feel like someone else has been there. But I read these other mom’s blogs and it makes me remember that they are in a place I used to be in, am not any more and don’t know when or if I ever will be again.

Well damnit, here is MY cutesy picture to cheer myself up! Yes, my lovely daughter picking her nose. Can’t wait until she gets her first boyfriend. *evil grin*

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